Hi bloggieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
It's been soo long since I've last came here to write/rant/express. hehe :)
Many things has happened. The good, the bad, the exciting part but yeah it's all spread out like a someboooooodehhhhhhh. OH! My kind of perfect is currently playing on my playlist! I know~ I know~ She's gotta out there, out there~ hahaha :D!
Anyho, my mind just can't stop thinking today. hopefully it's a once every few months kind of thing or else I'll go crazzzzy. Sometimes, the thoughts in my head just keeps me wondering.
I'm insecure,
I'm afraid of losing her,
Maybe things will be better with him.
ok fine. These are the three things that is currently on my head right now. so irritating. I told my mind to drop it but it just keeps coming back like it's haunting me or something. OMG! Someone is probably doing a ritual on me... lawls. I wish I had super powers like the all-in-one package kind of super power :(
I feel like flying right now. Wouldnt it be so cool to fly while you're feeling down and just look at the sky with all the stars glimmering at you as if they're smiling at you? Fantasies. Lol, is this considered to be emo? Cause I'm not a big fan of being emo and I hate to feel being emo so yucky. But then again, who's always happy?
I find this very meaningful and true :)
FOOTPRINTS
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
The noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand and why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you"
Who likes competition?
Most people don't.
But what about the ones that loves them?
It allows them to know their strengths and weaknesses.
They love the thrill when they are in it, and even better, the feeling when they clinched first place.
Life, itself is already a competition. Many might not know it but it is.
I hate competitions. When there's a competition, there's bound to be competitors. Some might be better but some are easy to beat.
You have to do lots of prep work and that includes hard work, consistent training, to see your hardwork getting paid off.
BUT what if, there are just others who are just better than you no matter how much effort you've put in?
Nobody likes being second nor third, we all want to be first in place.
Eliminate those competitors Ben! >:0
Should I give up?
Left guy on my shoulder: Look back Ben.. You told yourself giving up is the last resort for sure!
Right guy on my shoulder: Ben, you're waiting too long! I mean, all this unnecessary hurt is bringing you down all the time!
Left guy: But you know its worth it right, Ben? I mean... think of the future.. it may hurt now but you know when you settled down and start your own family, you're gonna think back and recall, giving up is the last resort for sure! :)
Right guy: WAIT! BUT she dont even want to go out with you! What does this prove? U're a wimp. U're someone who people dislikes and really, U SHOULD GIVE UP. What have you got to lose? Ur pride? Ah fuck that, u'll regain it all back after forgetting her.
Left guy: Do you know why she's hard to get? Because she's worth it! Do you think it's that easy to attain a scholarship award? You have to go through failing tests, knowing your mistakes then correcting them and make it all the way to the top! This is life. Its unfair, yes. But we all have to live with it right?
Right guy: ... Its up to you, if you wanna get hurt further then be my guest if not.. POOF! OFF SHE GOEEEEEES!
I really shouldn't be happy over the slightest things huh? B'cos when somethings happens, the aftermath will be -x100 the happy feeling.
Wait.
Unhappy... why do I feel unhappy? Oh ok. I shall be discreet on that.
Happy... how do I feel happy? Oh... her?
Ironic.
She's the one that makes me feel like I'm on cloud nine, on top of the world, in a state of euphoria and also the one that can bring me down easily.
o(>.<)o
I wanted to send you something.
But I guess... I'll send it to you someother time then..
L = drugs.
Once you snapped out of it, you'll see the whole picture of everything. Every detail of what's happening and then come to realise... "wow! so they were right."
Take it and you'll avoid all troubles, all the stress, everything you're afraid of.. all gone for that moment but it's just that, L has a longer effect than any other drugs.
:)
I'm crazy hm.
Something is wrong with me.
No... not with me, with my head, my thoughts, my decision.
Why are things turning out this way?
I didnt plan for this! :'(
Curiousity kills the cats.
note to self : because I saw codename ( chirp chirp)
I dont even know what's left of me.
